Knight of Mars (sailornash) wrote,
Knight of Mars

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Open Letter to all those involved with the SilverSenshi community

(Most of y'all can go on and ignore this. This addresses a very small group of people that frequent a message board elsewhere on the Net. This is for the SilverSenshi crew - they know who they are)

To whom it may concern:

Long story short - I'm not coming back. Let's just get that strait right off the back. No need to try to talk me into anything or presuade me or convince me...just forget about it. Don't waste both of our time. I don't have a problem with most of y'all. But the problems that I do have with certain people are enough for me to cut my losses and walk away from the table. If you can't respect that, then don't bother to read further - just go on back to your blogs or webpages or whatever and kindly leave me be.

For the rest of you still reading? I'll be as honest as I can. You know I ain't the kind to pull my punches.

I reckon I ended up on SS out of low self esteem. I quit AC because of financial reasons, but also because most of my friends frm the Paladins had already moved on to elsewhere. Likewise, I quit posting on the VN Boards. At college, everyone I know had already graduated. It sucks, but it happens when they're taking 4-year majors and I'm taking one that's almost always 5 years. My fiancee is in another state, unable to move in with me until I graduate. My gaming group had all but fallen apart - until my brother and his friends became interested in gaming, it was down to just me and the GM and whoever we could round up. Things were looking kinda down for me.

I found Danika's Drool-Worthy game through someone here on LJ, and thus became involved with TCG's to kill some time between classes. After chatting on the SCM boards about role-playing, Kajouka intorduced me to a group of fellow gamers on her site, SilverSenshi. Since I usually hang out on message boards anyways, I quickly jumped into this one to replace my activity on the VN and PoA boards.

Things were fine for a while. It was good to belong to a group, and I guess that's what I really needed at that time. Friendship. I eventually became one of the "regs", chatting with several of you via AIM or chatrooms or what have you, and it felt good to have friends again. Maybe not best friends or anything, but at least people that I could just chat with and goof off with.

I don't want to bring up the past. I *do not* want to start up a fight that's been dead for four months. Do that here, or in any of my future posts, and you're likely to get perma-banned. I ain't got time for that kind of shit, so if you still want to be on speaking terms with me then just drop it and let's move on. Most of the SSN people don't have LJ, and have no idea what went on. They just noticed that Nash quit showing up, and I'm fine with that. No explinations needed. Many of you with LJ's chose not to get involved, and I thank you for that. Truly, I do.

But it is the ones that fueled the flames the highest that I'm upset with. Think about it, people - my fiancee is the most important person in my LIFE. I can deal with people flaming me, but when someone hurts her feelings then it hurts me far worse than attacks directed at myself personally. That's the reason that I will not be coming back...that flame war proved to me who is and is not my true friends. A true friend of mine would realize that my fiancee was upset about something, and would have tried to calm her down. They would have treated her with the same respect that they would treat me, if not more. (Thanks again, JenBunny.) People who kicked her around only proved that they ain't worth my time. I ain't going to carry grudges against every little thing that was said, but I'm smart enough not to waste time trying to be friends with people who simply *aren't* my friends and have no desire to be. Go on about your way, and take care.

However, there's two or three people that simply crossed the line. You DO NOT say the things that you said about her without completely pissing me off down to the core. Again, I got no bad feelings at all towards most of y'all, and even the ones that I'm slightly upset with I don't really hate or anything. Who knows, I might start chatting with a few of y'all on AIM again and slowly add y'all back to my LJ Friends list if you're sincere. But the ones that simply went to far have been cut out of my world forever. They simply no longer exist to me. I want nothing to do with them, and nothing to do with common areas that they'd also be involved in (such as chats and forums). This is doubly important as the ones that pissed me off the greatest hold some of the highest positions in your little forums.

So, with that I leave you. Please do not include me in any of your games or polls or anything of the like. Feel free to nuke any of my posts if you wish. For the time being, I've taken (almost) all of you off of my LJ friends list. I only left two or three people - people with whom I was either friends with already before the whole SS thing, or people who I'm friends with outside of SS in some way shape or form. All I ask is for y'all not to talk about the SS thing with me - not the other people there, not the flame war, nothing. If you want to chat about wrestling or RPG's or anything else, then that's fine. If you aren't comfortable with that, simply ask to be removed from my friends list and I'll take you off. I originally wanted ot just nuke ALL of the SilverSenshi people off of my Friends List to be safe, but I didn't think that'd be fair to you guys.

If you're not on the list but would like to be....I'm a bit wary. I'll need to think about it first. If people genuinely want to be my friends, then in time I'll add them back on (both to my AIM and LJ). I'm not going to make the same mistake before and add just anyone to my friends list, even if they've already added me to theirs. I'd rather be a lot too careful than even a little too liberal. If you're truly a friend, then in time you'll be back on here. Just don't get impatient and try to rush me - do that and I can guarantee you it ain't gonna happen, no matter who you are.

To the rest of you? Please just let me fade into the background quietly. I've logged off of LJ for the entire summer so that maybe things would die down. Don't start anything back up. Just let me be forgotten and let me go on with my life.
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