Short story for today, but it was perhaps the best one-liner I've pulled of at the best moment, in front of a rather hard-to-impress audience. Actually, I was in the Men's room at work. Next to me was the elderly, somewhat stern, slightly grumpy old VP and second-in-command of the entire operation.
Now, I shouldn't have to explain restroom etiquette but you pretty much keep your attention on what you're doing and nothing else. Not really the place to let your eyes wander, especially when you're bumping elbows with people you only barely know. But turns out there was a plumbing problem next to me and the boss was trying to stop some kind of water leak. "You got a screwdriver," he asked, without really thinking.
"Well, yeah I do, actually." Redneck boy like me ain't never too far away from his tools. "Got one right here on my belt, actually."
"Reckon I can borrow it?" Ankle-deep in water, I can tell he's starting to get a little desperate.
"Well..." Without missing a beat, and still staring straight ahead, I answered with the first thing that came to mind. "Kind of got my hands full at the moment."
A couple of guffaws later, and I was sure that half the company must have heard those hearty laughs echoing off the tile walls. Of course, once I was able I did whip it out...my tool, I mean...MY MULTITOOL, YOU PERVS...and then did a quick repair job to stop the water and then fix the leak. The rest of the day was a little boring compared to that, but at least there was something that gave me a brief chuckle.