Bullet Time

06:44 Going to start licking doorknobs and eating nothing but pork. What better way to celebrate Mexico/Cinco de Mayo than contracting swine flu? #
11:34 Two minutes late to work. Boss caught me. Got stuck out in the rain. Dentist appointment. Everything keeps breaking at work. I need a beer. #
14:21 Stale, crunchy tacos are perhaps the single worst late lunch to try and eat after having dental work done. #
14:30 Much love for the "mute" button on office phones, though. Only way I managed to sneak in a lunch at all, crunching away while they talked. #

Tags: twitted