Knight of Mars (sailornash) wrote,
Knight of Mars

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Battle of the Sexes

Definitely a "You had to have been there" moment, but I just have to post this anyway.

I'm kind of getting into parkour and free running and all, and I've always been a fan of things like American Gladiators and now Ninja Warrior. So when I heard about this new TV show called Cha$e, I tuned in to give it a try. Wasn't as good as I had's less running and athletics and more hiding and watching people panic. Pretty much a glorified game of tag, where the Hunters chase down contestants and the first one to escape to a hidden exit gets fabulous cash and prizes. Still an OK watch, I suppose. But tonight's episode was absolutely fucking hilarious.

There's ten people, each working as individuals and each trying to outrun the Hunters until they can escape. But two of them really stood out. There's this guy, right? He's making fun of how dumb these stupid girls are and how he's so big and macho and how he's going to be the one that'll survive out in the woods the longest without anyone finding him. And after everyone splits up, he starts rubbing muddy water all over himself, saying he's going to camouflage himself "like they did in 'Nam".

It's worth noting at this point that the guy's all of twenty-five, tops. He doesn't know anything about Vietnam. It's also worth noting that he's wearing a bright red shirt.

I dunno, I suppose you'd have to see it to really appreciate it. But the dude's dressed so brightly he's almost glowing in the dark, bathing in this cesspool, saying how he's a genius. And meanwhile, the two "dumb girls" he's been mocking found each other, started watching each other's backs, and even managed to get one of the other player's maps by outsmarting him to replace the ones that they both had lost.

One of the "dumb girls" took the easy way out and took a smaller sum to exit the game voluntarily. The other managed to stay in it right till the very end. Not only that, but she was the first player to find the exit! She takes off running down the final stretch, but then here comes Mr. Asshole, right behind her. And he's bigger and faster and easily blows right past her like she's standing still. He beats her to the gate, touches it with both hands, and stops because he's the first one to reach the finish line. The "dumb girl" he's been mocking all this time, however, keeps right on running, opens the door that he's standing right beside, and inside is the announcer guy, the new car, and all the aforementioned cash and fabulous prizes.

And Mr. Asshole just stood there and watched "that dumb girl" walk right past him while he did nothing. She wins everything. He gets nothing. Too bad, so sad.

Between those two things? That might have been the funniest reality episode/athletic competition/non-comedic TV show I've seen in years. XD
Tags: humor, tv
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