Knight of Mars (sailornash) wrote,
Knight of Mars

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a few modest proposals:

Hear me out here.

Firstly, we have problems with illegal immigration. We also are running out of places to drill for oil. I think I can fix both of these problems in one fell swoop.

Mexico's got a ton of oil. Sixth biggest producer, I believe. And Mexicans are going crazy trying to sneak over here, even risking their lives trying to run across the unforgiving deserts of the southwest. It's hard to imagine someone that desperate to be an American, and it's even harder to take seriously the ideas I've heard to stop them. Everything from blanket amnesty for everyone to building a really, really, REALLY big fence along the entire border.

We so should just go take Mexico over.

Hell, they want to be Americans? Sure. We'd probably win that conflict without firing a single shot. Just have to sign on the dotted line. BOOM! Everyone's instantly a Mexican-American. No more dangerous border crossing. A relatively poor country gets a huge step up. And we get more land, more natural resources, more tourist destinations...more of everything, really. It's a win/win.

Secondly? The economy. It's kind of in the toilet, if you've kept up with the news at all. I think they're currently trying to find excuses for why they're going to give $700,000,000,000 dollars to these big Wall Street companies to bail them out. I just don't see why we should? These companies made money for years because, like all businesses, they took risks. For a while, they succeeded. Then their bad business practices and years of approving loans they never should have put them in the hole. Again, it's a risk. That's why they profited, and now, that's why they failed. The small businesses and individuals are still struggling with debt, and now recession and inflation as well. But we the taxpayers are about to have to pay a metric fuckton of money to these big business tycoons, CEO's and bankers, to rescue them from *gasp* becoming one of us poor folk.

If my math is right, for the same price, we could give $50,000 to every lower- and middle-class American family. Just cut it up and hand it out. We can pay our debts. We can put our kids through private schools and college. We can stimulate the economy now that we have money to actually put into the economy. Maybe start our own businesses. Bail us out of our problems. And there'd be little argument here - I can't imagine a more popular bill with the American people.

Sucks to be you, Wall Street Tycoons. You lost money on the stock market? Yeah, so did we. Get over it.

What do you say? Think I'm on to something here?
Tags: a modest proposal, news, politics, radical ideas
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