Firstly, my folks got a few new fish for the living room tank. Tattooed fish. I thought that was just a name, probably because of some pattern they had...but sure as shit, they are FISH with TATTOOS. One's got these three stripes inked down it's side, and the other's got a rose. It's kinda fucked up.
The fella that reads the meters for Alabama Power finally met Bama the other day. Mom's usually good about keeping them inside, but this time he just happened to pull up while the beasts were being walked. And in what I'm sure is just a complete coinsidence, he told us about this amazing new technology that lets him read the meter remotely, from as far away as the mailbox. He won't even have to pull into our driveway, much less get out of the truck or cross the fence or come so close to the house. He called into the office and scheduled the new meter to be installed the very next day.
And in a similar story, we ordered pizza the other night. I saw the delivery girl pull into the yard, so I grabbed the cash and walked out to meet her at the car. She seemed surprised, and I explained that I came out there so she wouldn't have to deal with our dogs. She got all offended, assuring me (in a rather snotty tone of voice) that she isn't worried about any dogs. I calmly said that I'm talkin' about 250lbs of American Bulldog. Without missing a beat, she handed me my order and simply said "Enjoy your pizza, sir."