Knight of Mars (sailornash) wrote,
Knight of Mars
sailornash

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Resolute.

I usually don't do the whole "resolution" thing. In fact, when pressed on the issue I'll make one that I'm almost certain to keep; for example, at Miso the other night I resolved not to massacre an entire bus full of nuns. I suppose there's always the chance, but it's a safe bet that I can go an entire year without doing that. =P

And this past year was certainly different than most. Problem is, most years are pretty good. Only one or two problem areas need tweaking, and those are easily to codify into concrete resolutions to state and try to live by for the next year couple of months however long. But 2004 was the Year From Hell for me over here. About the only way I can reduce all the changes I need to make into resolution format is to simply say "start over and rebuild everything from the ground up." ::shrugs::

But I suppose this year I'll give it a try.

Let's see, what are the most important things that I need to accomplish in the next 364 or so days?

1) GET A DAMN JOB, YOU USELESS BUM!
Kind of self explanitory I think. So far, I have Hewitt already asking about me, and a good shot at a job with Odyssey Networking. Besides that, though, I need to start hitting Job Fairs and sending online resumes to anyone with an active email account and get the ball rolling, as I'll be finished with my MCSA classes by mid-March.

2) Get back into shape.
Most people want to lose weight. I could care less about the number - I just want to lose the gut. The number will likely fall as I lose the fat and then start rising again once I put on some muscle. At least, that's the plan. My back's been healing slowly but surely over the past year. Almost good enough to start working out again...though I'll still have to be real careful not to overdo anything. Hopefully I'll be able to do some light freeweights at least, like curls for my arms and butterflies for my chest. I do have a reputation 'round these parts, after all... ::smirk::

3) Don't talk about her anymore.
This one should be easy. She's not important enough for me to worry about. I know that sounds easy enough to say, but it's the truth. I could care less what she's up to, cause it doesn't affect me in any way. I ain't willing to waste my time worrying about her or badmouthing her or anything else, cause I have much better things to do with my time. Like damn near anything else. Might as well watch the grass grow, as far as I'm concerned.

4) Get back on schedule.
I know a lot of this is due to my hormone levels and all. I feel like Shiori half the time, but even so I need to force myself to get organized. The Dangerphone will certainly help with that, with all the To Do lists and Calendars and the like. But I rarely seem to get things done anymore, simply due to a lack of structure. Even at college, I at least had scheduled classes and was forced to schedule lab and study times around that. Now that I have absolutely nothing aside from that one class, most of my day seems to slip away without me getting the first thing of note accomplished. No more of that.

5) Draw more.
This used to be my passion. I used to love to do this more than anything else. At one time, it was as much a part of me as football and weightlifting and martial arts were, but unlike all of those it's something that I can still do. And by comparison, I see people who have kept it up nonstop and now they are freaking amazing. (Half of y'all are reading this now, so you know who you are...) Makes me wish that I didn't give it up completely a decade ago. However, if I get started again now then maybe I'll be that good in another ten years. My goal is to draw at least two things a month, at least while in school. After that, I may move up to one thing a week. It'll still be horrible quality, as I'm starting back from square one, but you got to start somewhere I suppose...

6) Get my MCSA certification.
Shouldn't be too hard. Hopefully I'll get my MCSE as well by December, but that may be pushing it. We'll just have to see how things are going.

7) Not whine and bitch and moan so much on LJ.
I know it's my personal blog, and that I write it for myself - not for anyone else's amusement. But still, even though I'm not performing for an audience I can't help but notice how sarcastic my older posts were, and how damn depressing the newer ones have become. I couldn't help but smirk several times when re-reading some of my older entries, but these more recent ones make me sound like that dolt from Evangelion. And I hated that fella; I wanted to bitchslap him almost every time he was on the screen. Very not cool. Not cool at all...

8) Move out.
Pretty much synonymous with the first point, but I'll mention it again anyways.

9) Manage my finances better.
Same as above. Hard to manage things "better" when I'm currently jobless, but I'm more or less just making it a point to manage things well when it is my time to start handling my own finances once again.

10) Grow closer with my spiritual side.
I've sadly been neglecting this, being too mired in depression to pay much attention to anything not requiring my immediate attention. And I think that's one of the reasons I got so down and wasn't able to pull myself out of it, both concerning the job and the cheating ex and all of the other setbacks this year. But that's got to change.


And above all else, turn myself back into the cocky badass I once was. There's nothing that can stop me or even slow me down once I get on a roll. The blows I took last year killed all my momentum, and that has hurt me. But that was then, and this is now. I need to build up some more steam and plow through whatever obsticales foolishly try to get in my way in the months to come.
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