February 9th, 2010 - Damage Control: Nash's Journal — LiveJournal
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it, drag it, drop it, zip-unzip it...
There simply are no words in the English language to fully express the amount of fury and rage now contained within my mortal form.

I think I may need to switch to German.

How long have I struggled in vain? How many tears have I cried, how much sweat has poured from my brow? Yet I still suffer disrespect, dishonor, and fall short of my every lofty goal. No matter how many hours I pour into my work, my life, my anything...it is never enough.

And it never will be, despite my most noble efforts. I feel a righteous indignation towards my status in life. No man is entitled; yet despite this, I feel as if I've earned some measure of respect. Nevertheless I can never seem to rise above the lowest class. Others I know are managers, supervisors, church elders, leaders, pillars of the community. None are older or more gifted than I. Some may even, surprisingly, have been ones that no one ever thought would amount to anything. Even they have found some measure of success.

I do not begrudge them for it. However, I will not stand for this any longer, and I feel I deserve far better than my current lot in life. I've overcome amnesia and crippling injuries. I've been a scholar, an artist, and an athlete. I've earned awards and Engineering degrees. I've worked hard to get where I am, and my efforts should be rewarded in some manner. Yet the more I demand respect from others, and the more I expect it to be given - the more disappointed and frustrated I will only become. Respect can only be earned; it can never be demanded. And the cycle viciously feeds upon itself. The greater my ambition, my desire grows...the larger the disparity between my aspirations and the cold, harsh reality I must subject myself to.

No lover deserves to be judged against the sins of another. No matter what pain one has endured, no man is owed. And each new voyage must begin anew - each new journey begins with a first step. I would do well to remember this.

To drive myself onward I once told myself "you're only as good as your last game." Perhaps I should heed my own advice now. I continuously must prove myself again in the eyes of new friends, new allies, new coworkers at new jobs...new people who know nothing of me. But it does tire me so. How much longer must I toil in vain before the fruits of my labor are recognized?

Tags: , , ,
Current Mood: frustrated frustrated

4 flames | Light the fire

Current Time & Date
10/19/201908:18am
You are not logged in.
Username:
Password:
or create an account.
Quote of the Day

"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help."
- Miss Manners

Today's Trivia Tidbit

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

Terror Alert Level

Terror Alert Level

Vital Stats
Name: You can call me "Nash"
AKA: Maverick, Big Red
Location: Mobile, Alabama
Age: 28 years
Height/Weight: 5'10", 225 lbs.
Eyes/Hair: Hazel, Dark Brown
Sign: Capricorn / Year of the Ram
Blood Type: O+
Pirate or Ninja: Ninja!
Availability: Single and looking
Occupation: Network Admin
Education: University of Alabama
Bachelor of Science (Comp.Sci.)
Certs: MCP, MCDST, Network+
Drinks/Smokes: Yes / Hell No!
Political Affiliation: Independant
Overall Awesomeness: 98%
Site Map
Sister Sites
(none yet)
Charity - Click Every Day for Free!
攻殻機動隊
It is a time when, even if nets were to guide all consciousness that had been converted to photons and electrons towards coalescing, standalone individuals have not yet been converted into data to the extent that they can form unique components of a larger complex.
Banners

Get Firefox!

FARK.com

WWdN

The Onion, America's Finest News Source

You WILL experience the Ninja Burger difference!

Senshi Card Mania! R