Knight of Mars (sailornash) wrote,
Knight of Mars
sailornash

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I just realized how boring this journal has likely become for those I'm not actively friends with.

Normally I'd post funny links, random things I'd find on the internet, and various other tidbits of randomness on here. But when something it just a link and isn't worth and entire post, it's easy enough to drop into a Twitter message and then let it replicate both to here and to Facebook via automatic feeds. Nothing to say other than "This is neat! Check this out!" and give folks the URL.

I used to post full, lengthy posts here fairly frequently, but I suppose I just don't have a whole lot to say. I could post about that, about how my life is kind of in a rut right now. That's a little boring for a topic, but it's something worth putting on paper in my personal online diary...but then again, that's an entry for my personal, online diary - not for a public post for the world to see. Entries like that are either private or at best filtered to a close group of friends or to online friends only, confidants whom I can get personal matters off my chest without it directly affecting anyone whom I know in person.

Wbich, of course, leaves the average viewer with nothing but an export of Twitter feeds and little more if they're not someone whom I know well enough to give them that level of access into my personal and private life. For the casual reader, there really isn't much left, unlike my college days where I found the time and energy to blog about baseball, football, wrestling...any kind of sports, really...plus politics, philosophy, life in general...and, of course, the healthy dose of memes and randomness that the web is so famous for.

I need to be a little more social, both online and off. I need to start logging back into AIM and not neglecting my online friends, people who's friendship I truly do cherish and who I legitimately miss even if my own hangups are the only thing keeping me from keeping in any sort of regular contact. I need to get out more, start meeting more people, being more open and welcoming rather than keeping everyone at arm's lenght. Even on here, where I don't have a one-on-one connection with anyone in particular, I need to make a better point of opening up momre and sharing more, as not to close myself off completely. I've got a bad habit that when I'm upset, when I'm hurt, when my spirit is wounded I retreat and close myself off from the world...even from the people and the places and the things that I care about most...simply isolating myself as if to protect myself from any further damage.

It's simply a survival reflex. And I need to break myself out of this conditioning. If it burns me, then so be it - if there's one thing I know how to do it's rise from the ashes. I've unfortunately had more than my share of experience.
Tags: deep thoughts, friends, life
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